The News is Funny – in a Sad Kind of Way. Week of 9-13

  • CNN performed a second set of polls allowing Americans to judge Obama’s performance.  The first had given the President a C+ for his first 100 days and this week they released his second 100 days poll: a C-.   Obama is expected to give himself a speech on working harder and getting better grades.
  • SEIU and ACORN band together to protect worker’s rights.  The newly-formed Street-walkers Union of America has asked Kanye West to act as spokesperson and Charles Rangel for Treasurer.
  • Conservatives turned into racists and became “dangerous” as evidenced by the exactly zero people that were arrested for doing $0.00 in property damage in D.C. during the largest conservative protest in history.
  • The first glimmer of bi-partisanship felt during the Obama administration was felt as an almost-unanimous agreement that the Senate proposal on health care (Finance Committee Chairman’s Mark) is not the way to go.
  • CNN’s Wolf Blitzer got it wrong on Jeopardy, but then again, CNN tends to get it wrong and Americans think that the media gets it wrong more than 70% of the time.
  • The FDIC is running out of money.  ACORN is losing access to our money.  The Baucus bill is about giving more of our money to prop-up Medicare.
  • Jobless claims fell, but states report that more jobs got lost than before.  Obama to work with AFL-CIO and SEIU on creating the Unemployed Workers Union.  Union dues will be paid for by an excise tax on non-union working citizens wages.
  • Patrick Swayze lost his battle, Obama is losing his health care battle and now he is unable to make a decisions on the Afghan battlefield.
  • Bernanke said the recession is gone.  The FDIC said it’s money is gone.  Kanye proved that his decency was gone.
  • Congress spent millions on stimulus signs, and voted for millions more.  The Union of over-paid sign-makers claims recession is over thanks to the president’s stimulus.
  • The guiding light went off the air, Pelosi just went off, and Time Magazine said we should turn Glenn Beck off.
  • Joe Wilson got censured, ACORN got dumped from census taking, and Pelosi got frightened out of her senses.  I’m not sure how you would tell that by facial expression alone.
Rich Mitchell

Rich Mitchell is the editor-in-chief of Conservative Daily News and the president of Bald Eagle Media, LLC. His posts may contain opinions that are his own and are not necessarily shared by Bald Eagle Media, CDN, staff or .. much of anyone else. Find him on twitter, facebook and GETTR

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Rich Mitchell
Tags: Humor/Satirenews
17 years ago

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