Bryant Gumbel Says Millionaire NBA Players are Slaves

Bryant Gumbel is sad.  He left the Today Show years ago to become the big, big star that he always knew he was.  He was doing just great, then those bigots had to bring in perky, White girl Katie Couric to steel his spotlight.  Guess those network executives couldn’t handle the public specter of a light-skinned, rich, nerdy Black man who prefers to be romantically involved with white women headlining America’s leading morning show.  Racists!  So Bryant started his own show, a pretty well respected show at that – Real Sports on HBO.  He’s won Emmys and has spoken to some of the most influential athletes of our time, but still, its in the far reaches of cable and lots of people watch it, but its not the same.  Where are the adoring crowds?  Where are the screaming White women?  Where are the endorsements?  How does a poor guy like Bryant get back into the spotlight?  Say something ridiculous, of course!  The problem is, Bryant’s not really a “political” guy anymore.  He doesn’t do the hard-hitting interviews or the breaking stories.  He does sports.  He has to come up with something outrageous to say about an industry that is filled with outrageous excess.  Well, Bryant thought long and hard and came up with this brilliant analogy about the NBA lockout, comparing NBA Commissioner David Stern to a modern day plantation owner.  That’s right, Bryant thinks Stern wants to be a slave owner, and the “boys” on the team are nothing more than slaves to him.  Hey Bryant: if making an average of $5 million a year makes you a slave, sign me up!  Its really easy to vocalize such ridiculous notions when everyone who could refute your claim with experience is dead.  I can only imagine what someone who was actually a real slave during the darkest period of American history would say upon hearing you compare Black men making millions, living in mansions and driving expensive vehicles to SLAVES.  Also, these men can quit anytime.  I’m pretty sure Stern doesn’t have these guys chained to the locker rooms and benches on game days.  I’m only guessing, as I’ve never actually been in an NBA locker room, but I feel its a safe assumption.

Bryant, you’ve been too rich for too long.  Your idea of hardship and struggle is massively distorted by the view from your Manhattan penthouse.  Maybe David Stern is a jerk.  Maybe he really is a racist.  I don’t know, but I don’t think you do either.  The point is, this NBA lockout is a fight between millionaires and billionaires about who can keep more money, not slavery.  Slavery is evil.  The NBA is just entertainment.  Your comparison sullies the memory and accomplishments of a people who survived one of the greatest horrors ever visited upon mankind.  For shame.  For shame.

You can see the whole thing for yourself below.  Try not to puke.