Vice President Biden Announces New Shovel-Ready Project

Joe Biden flew to Oklahoma on Tuesday to announce a brand-new stimulus effort from the Obama administration.

Previous “shovel-ready” attempts to stimulate the economy have produce no results and called into question how quickly the government can do much of anything. To prove that there are such things as shove-ready projects, Biden introduce Obama’s program to combat the startling new problem of sinkholes in Oklahoma.

“Imagine how many shovels we can put into workers hands to fill in these sinkholes! This is a big f—-in deal!” the Vice-President said.

Calling it the Sink Hole Intervention Team or the S.H.I.T. program for short, Biden pointed out the availability of both shovels and dirt in Oklahoma and said that putting the two together to fill in the gaping menaces would be a huge boost to the Sooner economy.

Explaining the sinkhole intervention techniques, Biden said that “workers can take dirt from right beside the sinkholes and fill in the chasms.” When asked what about the new holes that would result from using dirt close to the holes Biden replied, “another hole that needs another shovel – this program is just what America needs.”

Disclaimer: This post is satire – Joe Biden nor anyone else has introduced a program to fill in sinkholes using government stimulus – but I think they would if they’d thought of it first.