The Explanation For Afghanistan

Let’s speculate on what’s really going in Washington vis-à-vis Afghanistan.

First, why would we take off and leave behind so much perfectly functional military equipment? Easy – now when all the crazy Izzies in the world invade Israel just in time for Armageddon, they’ll go in style in the latest-version American tanks, personnel carriers, humvees and the rest. They’d go in the jets and choppers but they can’t figure out how to fly the darn things on such short notice.

Second, why sneak off in the middle of the night, even turning off the lights and not alerting the new Afghan commander? How else were they supposed to avoid all the traffic getting to the airport? It wouldn’t have been seemly to hold a full-scale change-of-command parade just before we hopped aboard choppers and decamped en masse. They’d have thought we were running from a fight or something.

Third, why leave all those Americans out there with not so much as a clue of what to do? Hey, man, this is Afghanistan, not some civilized country. Why should Uncle Sam pay for people who are there by choice? If you ain’t part of the Blinken-Austin-Milley BAM show, it’s your own lookout.

Fourth, why abandon our Afghan allies and their families to the vicious Taliban? Antony and the boys decided there were too many Afghanistanians using up all the air. After all, they’re only Afghanistanians. Kinda like the Noo Yock sophisticate who sniffed at the unimportant people – taxi drivers, delivery dudes, stay-at-home moms and other such nobodies, “They’re like plankton.”

The serious answer to these questions, of course, is that incompetence trails along wherever incompetents go, like to Marie Harf’s crib. They have no clue what to do in their glittering jobs, all puffed up with self importance, starting with Mr 47-years-in-Washington at the top; and they never signed on to answer hard questions, neither. So there.