News you can’t make up: New Zealand Orgies, Santa Arrested, NFL Games Postponed, Kamala Gets ‘heated’

As the news of the world gets crazier and more messed up by the day, it must be hard for the satirists at the Babylon Bee to come up with pieces that are more outlandish than what is occurring in the real world.

The following are real headlines of the day showing the insanity of the present day.

How about: New Zealand Approves Orgies Of Up To 25 People As Part Of New COVID Rules

That news comes from Zero Hedge which notes that New Zealand, one of the most tyrannical nations under the medical dictatorship, has a “traffic light system” with various color schemes to allow the peasants to know what their overlords will allow them to do. Remember the color-coded “threat” alerts our own American government used to keep us trapped in fear after 9/11?

Jacinda Ardern, New Zealand’s prime minister, gave the happy news for the perverted communities of her nation on a show called Seven Sharp.

“I can confirm that Tinder liaisons have reopened,” Arden said. “It’s not strictly embedded in the traffic light system but um, it is a given, up to 25 actually, in a red area.”

Oh, and the delightful laughter of Arden and the propagandist hosts just makes you feel good about your servitude, doesn’t it? Yes, Arden can shut down life as you know it in New Zealand, but she can allow you to fornicate at will, at least up to 25 people at once. So, I guess there are no viruses or diseases to worry about with such activity now, right?

Next up, we have from Armstrong Economics: Stralsund Police Placed on Santa’s Naughty List

Video emerged from the Christmas market in Stralsund, Germany of a man dressed as Santa Claus being arrested by police. He apparently was part of an anti-lockdown protest and was arrested for refusal to wear a mask or show his papers.

“Among those present, there was also a person disguised as Santa Claus,” a police statement read. “Police were also surprised to see that Santa Claus was breaking the law and was also expressing his opinion through a poster. The 47-year-old from Stralsund was clearly a player in the rally. He was not hired as Santa Claus in the Christmas market in this city.”

Oh, the humanity. Santa expressed ideas and thoughts, and that’s not allowed.

The German Christmas markets are generally family-friendly events. Will the police will fund the therapy bills for the children who witnessed Santa’s arrest.

Another from Zero Hedge: NFL To Postpone Several Games Over COVID Spread

Apparently, the National Football League is very scared of a virus. The league announced the postponement of five games which will be moved to days later than their original schedule.

“We have made these schedule changes based on medical advice and after discussion with the NFLPA as we are seeing a new, highly transmissible form of the virus this week resulting in a substantial increase in cases across the league,” an NFL statement read.

Of course, that means the NFL must have not submitted to the medical experiment, correct? Nope, they’re boasting a 94.6% player “vaccination” rate and near 100% personnel rate. But the jabs are safe and effective, correct?

Finally, there’s this from Fox News: Kamala Harris interview with Charlamagne Tha God gets heated after he asks who ‘real’ president is

Apparently, the vice president got offended when she was asked if the president may actually be Joe Manchin, not Joe Biden, by someone who must be very modest considering he gave himself the name “Tha God.”

On second thought, this one may want to be in the category of “news you can make up.” Watch the video clip and tell me, was that really a “heated” exchange or a scripted and rehearsed acting job?

It’s almost as if all the mainstream outlets are colluding together to script narratives and make up news to keep the masses focused on petty issues. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, Comedy Central, et.c, etc., etc. They’re one in the same.

But hey, it gave some lazy Fox News “reporter” something to write about and their simple-minded hosts fodder to play with. On the other hand, I guess it gave me something to write about as well.

Content syndicated from TheLibertyLoft.com with permission.