We Have No Idea How Much Pentagon Spent On Octopus ‘Hypnosis,’ Monkey Mind-Reading Studies

Republican Sen. Joni Ernst of Iowa wrote to newly-confirmed Department of War Inspector General Platte Moring on Wednesday, asking for information on the cost of studies regarding “octopus hypnosis,” “snail mucus,” and “monkey mind-reading” during the Biden administration.

Ernst sponsored the Cost Openness and Spending Transparency Act in 2021, which was included in that year’s National Defense Authorization Act, requiring all studies funded by the federal government to disclose how much they cost taxpayers. In the letter to Moring, Ernst highlighted five studies paid for by the Biden administration from the War Department’s research and development (R&D) budget.

“Posting a public price tag provides greater accountability for ensuring tax dollars are being spent strengthening our nation’s defenses and not being wasted on projects that are defenseless,” Ernst wrote. “The Pentagon is entrusted with more than $140 billion every year to spend on R&D intended to modernize our defenses and equip our service members with the best weapons to defeat adversaries and protect our nation from any threat.”

Ernst later detailed some of the studies that had been paid for by the Department of War, citing the Pentagon grants used to fund them but with a glaring omission.

“Reviews by my office have found award recipients often acknowledge receiving R&D funds for general purposes in press releases, but also largely omit the dollar amount in public documents related to specific projects paid for with the funds from the Pentagon, such as individual published studies or press releases sharing the findings of the studies,” Ernst wrote. “This is not the full transparency promised to taxpayers required by law.”

A spokesperson for the Department of War told the Daily Caller News Foundation, “As with all Congressional correspondence, the Secretary will respond directly to the Senator” when reached for comment on the studies.

The studies included whether “octopus hypnosis” could replace anesthesia, the sleeping habits of elephant seals, the properties of “snail mucus,” “doomscrolling” on Facebook and an effort to “decode and interpret the brain signals of monkeys.” None of the studies outlined their cost to the taxpayers, according to Ernst.

“The Pentagon diverted defense dollars toward octopus hypnosis, calculating how long seals—the fin-footed, semiaquatic mammals, not Navy SEALs—sleep, and monkey mind reading,”  Ernst told the DCNF. “Well, monkeys and seals and octopi, oh my! It’s anyone’s guess how much was spent on this questionable research because the price for taxpayers isn’t provided, as required by law.”

“This is exactly why I authored my COST Act — to put an end to this shady spending and ensure folks in Iowa, and across the nation know exactly how their hard-earned money is being spent,” Ernst continued. “If we want the Pentagon – the only federal agency that has never passed an audit – to clean up its books, putting public price tags on these funds can no longer be Mission Impossible.”