How to Help Boys

It would be better for boys if society stopped expecting them to act like girls.

A Texas mom recently shared a video of her son at his kindergarten graduation. The clip shows him squirming in his chair, playing with his hands and stretching over his seat. She captioned the video, “You’re six and the ceremony enters minute 37.”

The footage went viral because the boy is cute and the situation is so relatable for parents. But for boys, moments like this are no laughing matter.

Think about most modern early elementary classrooms. Many teachers want students to spend hours a day sitting, listening, reading or writing by themselves. This is certainly well-intentioned. Self-control is important and helps students with formal education.

For many young boys, however, it’s a form of cruel and unusual punishment. Little boys are bundles of energy. Their natural state is restlessness. Left alone, they bounce off walls, dig in the dirt and tussle with each other. This level of activity produces frequent bursts of noise. While some girls fit this description, it’s endemic among boys. One reason is that young girls mature faster than boys. At an earlier age, their bodies are ready to sit and be still. As boys age, their restlessness declines.

This sets up young boys for failure in most classrooms. Sitting still is a prerequisite for success and some boys can’t do that for minutes, let alone hours, at a time. School doesn’t need to be torturous for boys.

One relatively easy improvement would be for schools to have more recess. This playtime provides a healthy outlet for all this energy. It’s much easier for boys and girls to sit and learn after running around and playing ball or tag.

Growing up, I had three daily recesses and lunch, along with physical education classes. Today, many schools offer a single 15-20-minute recess that is sometimes smooshed together with lunch.

Yes, more recess would mean less time in the classroom. If boys were robots to program, this idea wouldn’t make sense. But since they are human bundles of energy, it’s an obvious first step.

Because they mature more slowly, many boys should start school a year later. In some places, they already are. In 2022, The Atlantic reported that starting boys a year later “is an open secret in elite circles.” Further, “a delayed school entry is now close to the norm for boys who would otherwise be on the young side.”

Nevada has done the opposite. In 2023, the Legislature and Gov. Joe Lombardo lowered. Clark County School District Superintendent Jhone Ebert and many politicians want to expand pre-K. A 2022 Vanderbilt University study looked at third through sixth graders who used Tennessee’s Pre-K program.

“A negative effect was also found for disciplinary infractions, attendance and receipt of special education services,” the researchers wrote.

Go figure that sticking 3-and 4-year-old boys in a structured classroom environment doesn’t end well. Apparently, many supposed education experts haven’t spent much time around young boys.

More substantial changes are needed. The rise of fatherless households has been a disaster for boys. Society must tell men how vital it is that they get married and raise their children. Boys need male role models. Elementary schools aren’t providing many. Men account for only 11% of elementary school teachers. More male teachers would help, although that’s easier said than done.

Boys also need times when they are only around boys and men. But the Boy Scouts now accepts girls. That’s a major loss for boys, even as groups like Trail Life are working to provide them with new options.

It’s time to help boys, not just be amused at their aggressive fidgeting.

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