DHS Takes Action Against.. Exploding Turkeys

DHS Chief Janet Napolitano wants America to know they are on the job keeping everyone safe this holiday season. Watch the following video on how the geniuses at the Department of Homeland Security are going out of their way to protect (by spending taxpayer dollars on ridiculous common sense issues) people who apparently are too lazy to read the directions on every turkey fryer sold in America today.

Let’s try to figure out how these people set up this “demonstration on an exploding turkey” shall we?

1 – Make sure you have the fryer over 3/4 full of hot oil so it spills over the edge and catches fire. Check.

2 – Make sure the turkey is completely frozen beforehand, as we all have had the experience of seeing what happens when frozen foods meet hot oil, such as french fries, chicken wings, fish etc. Ka-Whoosh! Big fire!

3 – Let’s make sure we have a fireman in a fire-suit covered from head to toe, with an oxygen mask, boots, gloves, the whole nine yards to show the public how responsible our government is in protecting their actor’s well-being. This also makes for very dramatic theater to get the dummies attention, because they must be dummies refusing to read the instructions and tossing frozen turkeys into a 375 degree fryer loaded with hot oil.

4 – This excellent usage of taxpayer dollars will allow Napolitano and company at the DHS to demand a few billion more tax dollars for next year’s big government expansion of turkey fryer police and federal regulators protecting America from exploding turkeys,and dummies houses being burned down by ignorant morons too stupid or lazy to read the instructions that come with every turkey fryer sold in the U.S.A.

Has America become such a dumbed-down nanny-state that we now need Janet Napolitano and the Department of Homeland Security teaching us how to deep fry a turkey on Thanksgiving? Maybe this all came about because they do not have enough work to do today, seeing as to how they just declared that ICE and Border agents will no longer be permitted to search for and detain for deportation, illegal immigrants in America, therefore freeing them up to make commercials about the dangers of exploding turkeys? This is what you get when a government goes wild, asking for 250,000 more employees, and then makes up rules that prevents them from doing the jobs they were hired to do in the first place! Here is a hat tip for Ms. Napolitano, free of charge: Either do your job and detain and deport illegal immigrants who are breaking the law when entering America, or get out of our government! Clear enough?

2012 just can’t get here fast enough!