Dear cowardly leftists: Here’s how to immigrate to Canada

I’m not insinuating that all those on the left are cowards, but several liberal celebrities, biased journalists, silicon billionaires, and public figures admitted that they had no backbone when they threatened to move to Canada and other places rather than work with a Trump administration to turn the country around – I’m here to help.

We don’t need the childish, unwilling to listen, discuss, and learn attitude exhibited by you. I’m willing to hear your ideas, debate policy and perhaps find common ground. But if taking your ball and going away is all you have, there’s really not much to talk about.

Your immature and unhelpful stance has given credence to things like safe spaces, trigger words, and political correctness that make reasonable discourse impossible.

If you unAmerican cowards can’t find your way to help the country heal and come together, then I say good riddance and here’s how you can become a Canadian citizen ASAP:

• First, become a permanent resident of Canada
• Wait four years (just in time for the next Presidential election)
• Fill out this eligibility questionnaire to see if Canada even wants you as a citizen
• Take a language test, even if English or French are your primary languages
• Fill out the Canadian Citizen Application Package
• Mail the package to the central office
• Wait some more

This post is addressed to the following unthinking cowards that are likely to chicken out again by not actually moving:

• Neve Campbell
• Lena Dunham
• Keegan-Michael Key
• Chloe Sevigny
• Al Sharpton
• Eddie Griffin – actually said he would move to Africa .. which isn’t a country so he’ll need to consult the immigration policies of an actual country on that continent
• Amber Rosa
• Samuel L. Jackson – said he’s moving to South Africa
• George Lopez – going back to Mexico
• Barbara Streisand
• Raven-Symone
• Whoopi Goldberg
• Omari Hardwick – headed to Italy
• Miley Cyrus
• Ruth Bader Ginsburg – going to New Zealand
• Amy Schumer – Spain