Boomerang Kids: Leaving the Nest on a Round-Trip Ticket

Ah, the blissful day when your young adult finally moves out. You revel in the newfound quiet, reclaim a closet or two and might even consider turning that old bedroom into a hobby space. But just as you’re settling into this next phase, in walks your fully grown child, suitcase in hand, declaring that they’re home again. Welcome to the world of “boomerang kids” — those delightful offspring who go off into the world, only to return with remarkable accuracy, right back to your front door.

Now they’re back for any number of reasons — an economic downturn, a job loss, a college hiatus or a breakup. Whatever the cause, it’s essential to establish some ground rules before you’re buying extra groceries and reliving those teenage curfew debates. A set of house rules for handling the boomerang phase can go a long way to make certain this will not involve sacrificing your sanity.

Payment: Let’s start with the big one — money. This time around, your kiddo isn’t coming back as a penniless teenager. They’re a working adult (or at least trying to be), so they should be contributing financially. Whether it’s a portion of the rent, groceries or even the Wi-Fi bill, insist they pitch in. After all, the fridge doesn’t restock itself. And for the record, neither does Netflix.

Harmony: This is not some extended college dorm arrangement. The house rules — yours — are in full effect. You didn’t spend years painstakingly training this child only to now have them return and rewrite the household code. Boomerangs must respect the fact that they’re now guests in the home they once ruled. Your curfews, quiet hours and general household manners aren’t suggestions — they’re the law.

Temporary Situation: The key here is to define this as a one-time, temporary arrangement. Both sides should agree on a start and end date — like a lease agreement without the legal drama. This keeps everyone focused on the fact that this is a pit stop, not a permanent station. Yes, life throws curveballs, but this isn’t a renewable lease. Set a clear end date and make sure it’s nonnegotiable.

Laundry: I know the temptation. Your kid is busy, and there’s that pile of laundry just begging for a mother’s touch. But resist! Boomerangs are responsible for their own clothes. Just because they’re back in your house doesn’t mean you’re resuming laundry duty. Let them experience the harsh reality of owning their laundry disasters.

Bills: Boomerangs often arrive with baggage in more ways than one, and by baggage, I mean bills. Do not — I repeat, do not — offer to pay these. Under no circumstances should they offload financial responsibilities onto you. If that means they take a second job or tighten their budget, so be it. Bills are a reality they’ll have to face on their own, and there’s no better time to learn that lesson than now.

Transportation: You are not a personal Uber. They’re living under your roof, yes, but that doesn’t mean your vehicle(s) are part of the package. They’re old enough to figure out how to get from point A to point B without borrowing your car. If they want to go somewhere, they can manage their own transportation, just like any other adult.

Parking: Boomerangs do not, under any circumstances, get the prime garage or driveway space if that means you or your spouse are pushed to park on the street. The boomerang should park in the street. After all, they’re the one benefiting from this temporary return, so it’s only fair they get the less convenient spot.

Food: Here’s the surprisingly touchy subject. Who’s paying for it, who’s cooking and who’s cleaning up? These are crucial conversations that should happen on day one. Boomerangs should contribute in some way — maybe they pitch in for groceries or handle a few meals each week. Whatever you decide, make sure it’s discussed and settled early.

Chores: Yes, they’re adults now, but that doesn’t mean they’re exempt from household duties. Create a detailed, specific chore list — after all, we know how adept they are at finding loopholes. Maybe they’re in charge of taking out the trash or mowing the lawn. Whatever the chores, write them down and make sure everyone’s clear on who’s doing what.

Contract: All these rules? Write them up into a simple contract. A little formality keeps things clear, and everyone knows exactly what’s expected. This contract might be the key to maintaining a harmonious household and ensuring that this round-trip ticket is truly one-way when the time comes.