Halloween Costumes Compliments of the Closet (Not the Credit Card)
When my kids were little, I shelled out a pile of hard-earned dollars to make matching Popeye the Sailor Man costumes. I spent entire evenings determined to make them authentic to the muscular guy himself, right down to the boys each carrying a can of spinach! I’m still not convinced anyone under age 25 had any idea who they were supposed to be. Lesson learned: A memorable costume has nothing to do with a price tag — and everything to do with imagination, masking tape and a sprinkle of mischief.
So before you load up an online cart with flame-retardant polyester and overnight shipping, wander over to your closet. Everything you need is probably within arm’s reach of the laundry basket.
CLOSET COUTURE FOR INDIVIDUAL GHOULS
Static Cling: Pull on any outfit, then pin random socks, dryer sheets and one rebellious pair of underpants all over yourself. Everyone knows the panic of discovering that rogue sock halfway through a workday; now you’re the punchline.
Ceiling Fan: Grab a T-shirt and a marker. Scrawl “Go Ceiling!” across the front, wave a foam finger, and shout encouraging slogans like “Spin faster!” It’s proudly dumb — and people adore proudly dumb.
Smarty Pants: Tape rolls of Smarties candies to your jeans. Groan-worthy? Absolutely. Memorable? You bet your glucose.
Identity Crisis: Slap on a half-dozen “Hello, My Name Is” stickers, each sporting a different alias. Spend the night answering to whatever name someone points at. Cheap existential humor, no therapy bill required.
Laundry Monster: Pajamas, slippers and a laundry basket filled with runaway socks. Nothing says “horror” like endless wash cycles.
GROUP & FAMILY SHENANIGANS
Weather Channel Field Team: One of you is sun (beach towel), another rain (umbrella and damp attitude), someone else snow (scarf, mittens), and a brave soul howls wind (leaf blower optional). Narrate everything in dramatic storm-reporter style.
Cereal Killers: Dress in black, tape mini-cereal boxes to yourselves, add plastic knives, and deliver your lines with your best Saturday-morning-cartoon villain voice. Guaranteed laughs plus a portable snack.
Need a two-person option? One wears a brown shirt labeled “Peanut Butter,” the other a purple shirt labeled “Jelly.” Stay within hugging distance for peak comedy — and because PB&J apart just looks sad.
KID-FRIENDLY (AND PARENT-SANITY-FRIENDLY) IDEAS
Children require two things on Halloween: comfort and a costume that fits over a hoodie. Keep it simple:
Librarian: Glasses, cardigan, stack of books, stern “shh” finger.
Farmer: Plaid shirt, overalls, toy animal tucked under an arm.
Sleepyhead: Footed pajamas, bedhead hair, teddy in tow.
Olympic Athlete: Gym shorts, sweatband, cardboard gold medal.
Box of Crayons: Solid-color outfit, cone-shaped party hat and a hand-drawn “Crayola” label.
All five involve items you already own, plus they’re flame-safe, car-seat compatible and bathroom-friendly — critical metrics no costume store bothers to list.
PULLING IT OFF WITHOUT PULLING OUT THE WALLET
Commit to the Bit: A flimsy pun becomes gold when you sell it with gusto (and maybe jazz hands).
Tape, Not Thread: Safety pins, masking tape and rubber bands are the DIY trifecta — no sewing required.
Call in Makeup: One black eyeliner pencil can create cat whiskers, pirate scars or zombie circles without draining your checking account.
Stay Practical: Avoid anything floor-length near porch candles, anything itchy near small children, and anything inflatable near cramped doorways. Your future self will thank you.
WHY CLOSET COSTUMES WIN
They cost next to nothing, they’re one-of-a-kind, they keep junk out of landfills, and they come with a story. No one reminisces about that $40 Elsa dress.
This Halloween, let the neighbors spring for store-bought spandex. You’re armed with creativity, duct tape and the wisdom of a retired Popeye. Raid the closet, embrace the pun, and keep your credit card right where it belongs: tucked safely behind your driver’s license, which, by the way, makes a terrific prop if you decide to go as a very responsible grownup.
Got a brilliant closet-born costume idea? Drop me a line. I might feature it next year — assuming I’m not too busy being a dust bunny (gray sweats, dryer lint, unmatched socks, thank you very much). Meanwhile, happy haunting and happier saving!
For more frugal inspiration, visit EverydayCheapskate.com/halloween.
